18 July 2010

Knick Knacks

So I failed. It a really big way! Not only did I miss yesterday's post (and todays 17/7/10 because it is 23.58 at this moment!) (with no valid or worthwhile excuse) I have also not completed any of the 'promised' project posts! I think I was waiting for the right time to do them, but really is there ever a right time?

Some people say that if you don't do something when it first pops into your head you never will. I think that is true, there are many things which I have said I will do but never get round to doing because sadly the momentum has passed, the excitement has gone and instead I am filled with obligation and guilt from 'broken promises.'

Right now at this exact moment down stairs my parent are holding a 'house party.' House party being the palpable word considering it is a party in the house. There are about 40 'grown ups' downstairs, and I use that term lightly because when ever anyone drinks (and I say this with the up most respect and without meaning to be rude or mean) they are exactly the same in behaviour as me and my friends when we have been drinking. It is enjoyable and my parents are having a fantastic time but being 17 with a house full of my parents friends I have decided to retreat to my bed room. Sleep my friends is out of the question but blogging? Well now is the perfect time!

I feel after my 'informative post' on the 15th  in which I talked about naivety amongst other things this post really should be less structured and more laid back. (Which really means I have not thought about a subject to talk about!)

The main thing I keep getting asked about is University, where I will be going, what I will be studying and how excited I must be? In which I answer as best I can but after 5 conversations on the same topic I have come to realise that I am downright unprepared and unfocused. I have no idea what university will be like, I don't have any idea about whether I am excited about it or just scared witless. I just haven't thought about it. I think part of that is down to the fact that if I think about it I have to look at my exams and make a judgement on if they went well or not, which is very hard to do when you can hardly remember what the questions where. I think I forgot about my exams 2 seconds after I came out of them. I must have made a mental note to throw away the evidence and memories and just move on. Which doesn't really work well when asked all these questions! Thinking about University means that it is real, being real means I have to admit that I am growing up and also means I have to face up to becoming an 'adult' which is very hard to do when you are still 17 and will be for another month and 13 days!

The growing up thing is even more of a pressing issue because I am sorting about a family meal for the 30th of August to celebrate my 18th and have made the invitations which includes a picture of me as a baby and as my self now (see image below)



I still look at baby pictures of me and when I was a lot younger but it is when family and friends comment on how grown up I am now and how much I have changed. The predetermined stories of what I was like as a baby and how grown up I am now as going to happen and will add to the understanding that Yes I am going into the big wide world, I am growing up and will have to take more control on my life. My parents are not there for ever and nor will they always deal with finance and washing I too will have to learn to do these things!

SO there you have my post, a couple of days late and less exciting but I hope it wasn't a total disappointment!

night night

(I am now off to get some crisps and start watching a film at 00:17)

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